Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
