i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
