Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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