Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
