it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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