Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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