An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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