At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
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You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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