...so i touched it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You may now shotgun with the bride
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
