Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and you said cock pushups were impossible
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
