Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
