I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize