your room smells of hookers.
And success
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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