There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
