Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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