so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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