She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
