I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize