Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just pee around me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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