can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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