no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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