You work out of a Hotel?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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