The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
