If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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