No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize