yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
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She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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