At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
