Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We got so high we made milksteak
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
