Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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