he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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