Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
