just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
