Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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