I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Couch. On fire.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
