I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
