Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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