We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she peed on how many people?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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