I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
