I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
