Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
