I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
