How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
