i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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