Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
