Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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