she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
