I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
ok first of all what the fuck
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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