Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
