There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
