Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
