hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
