I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
