I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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