this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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