i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize