When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He better not be in your backpack
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
