I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
wow bdsm is so cute
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
