I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
