ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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