He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
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I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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