So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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