What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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