I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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