Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
