she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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