On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
