So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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