yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
