Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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